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June 10 I Love You Dearly, But...People Behaving Badly #15Humans are inherently evolutionary creatures. We grow, we change as we grow, and we adapt to the changing world around us. Usually, we enjoy and embrace the changes we see in the world we live in, whether it's a change in ourselves, in our neighbourhood, or in the people we keep near and dear to us. This change, this progression of evolution on even a minute scale, reminds us that we are still alive, that we are not stagnant, and that we still belong.
But as much as we enjoy and embrace moving forward, we seem to reject it just as wholly. In our own personal tug-of-war, we constantly find ourselves engaged in an intrinsic struggle, as we yearn for the nostalgic ease of yesterday. We cling to remnants of our past, small little fragments of memory and treasures of days gone by, in an effort to stop the changing world from going on without us. We hold on to things long worn out -- a favourite pair of jeans, an old played-too-often album, even friendships -- because we attach such emotion to them, because we haven't been without these things for such a long time -- put simply, because they're familiar and comfortable.
But at what point do we decide that the torn pockets, the scratched disc, the silences between friends -- at what point do we decide that maybe this isn't worth holding onto anymore? Whether it's a song from highschool, or someone who knows you as well as you do, does the love you have for something make it worth keeping it on a shelf for safe keeping, no matter what condition it's in?
She and I have been friends since tenth grade -- ten years, now -- and have been everywhere together -- from elation to frustration, from confusion to awe, from Victoria to Montreal. But somewhere along the way, between graduation and now, we learned that there is life outside of each other. After all, two people can only walk the same beaten path for so long before a fork in the road pulls you both in different directions. And sometimes, when the paths meet back up, you get lucky, and the way you've changed is still compatable with the other person and the way they have changed. But all too often, too many separations leave you reuniting with a person you hardly know anymore.
She came to visit last week, and I quickly realized that the girl sleeping on my hide-a-bed was not the same girl who's hair I once held back while she puked. She's a different person now, as am I. I could provide you with a laundry list of things she said and did while she was here that left me absolutely flabbergasted, but it's not my place to do so, and, besides, that's not the point. The things she says and does are what she needs to do in the day-to-day life that she has carved out for herself, just as I'm sure there are a million things that I need to do in my daily life that she can't stand, either.
The point, I suppose, is that as much as she drove me crazy while she was here, I know that the friend I fell in love with ten years ago is still inside her somewhere, and that's not anything worth giving up. It's true that people change -- it's in our nature to change our jobs, our social circles, our opinions and our lifestyles. But when you let someone love you unconditionally, whether it's your best friend or your lover, you're showing them a piece of your soul; the deepest, most honest piece of yourself you can offer -- and that's something within you that never changes. TrackbacksThe trackback URL for this entry is: http://yellowkaren.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!5507B7D7D5FF0D0!312.trak Weblogs that reference this entry
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